did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
