Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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