your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
