Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dignity is for republicans.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize