College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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