i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
