You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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