Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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