He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
