The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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