dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
