Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i believe in u and ur pee
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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