no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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