hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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