I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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