It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im calling her cock vulture from now on
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
