In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize