Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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