I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
