Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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