Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize