wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
