2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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