So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
