S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize