it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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