Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
