party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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