yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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