If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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