i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
