You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize