I met the friendliest cop last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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