Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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