Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
