i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
