She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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