talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
