K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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