Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
