your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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