Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was like eating out sand paper
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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