i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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