I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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