How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
