i already hear my dad disowning me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
