I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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