You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
