Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize