I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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