guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just want to make out with him forever
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
