i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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