Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
