So drunk its hurt
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
