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Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
