Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
sarcasm needs its own font
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
