Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
