I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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