I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize