Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
