I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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