Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think my moral compass just broke
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
